How do you get restful, guilt-free slumber the night before, the night after deed is done, or in the nights to come?  It's simple - do everything in your power to change the situation and be sure the employee can't or won't meet the job requirements.

When you're firing someone for something egregious, like defrauding your customers or stealing, it's easy.  The employee got their hand caught in the proverbial cookie jar and they know it is warranted.  

When you're furloughing someone or laying them off, it's heart-wrenching no doubt, but you're not telling them they did a lousy job.  You're telling them the company did a lousy job and cannot support them anymore.

But, if you're letting someone go for performance and haven't done your job, you're telling them you're firing them because you're lousy.  That can lead to serious consequences for you and your organization.

So, what's in your power?*

1. Set clear expectations up front
   
2. Correct the behavior/mistake the first time it happens; ask if s/he is clear about the expectations; ask what you can do to help; jot down the conversation for posterity 
   
3. Correct the behavior/mistake the second time it happens and then discuss consequences; ask what you can do to help; document the conversation for posterity; if appropriate inform your manager and/or HR
   
4. Correct the behavior/mistake the third time; invoke the consequence (perhaps this is the point of termination - perhaps you need to give them one more strike)
5. And so on...

Next time someone on your team is a consistent performance problem and there's only one solution, do all in your power to change the situation and then sleep well!

* I am NOT advocating progressive discipline here!  Depending on how serious the infraction, this checklist may need to be modified.  Seek legal council before you terminate someone.  

I was riding in the car with other day with a colleague of mine after we had just enjoyed a very productive lunch.  He turned to me and said, “Libby, you have a bit of food in your teeth.”  And, sure enough when I pulled down the mirror, I had a piece of lettuce stuck in an unattractive spot.  After lunch I had a meeting with clients, so I really appreciated him saying something.  As we laughed about it, I thought about the fact that many people, even some of my friends, would not have told me.

That evening as I was driving in the car I thought about the stuck salad.  What made that important conversation work?  It was timely feedback, certainly. But why wasn’t I embarrassed?  If the client had told me, I would have been mortified.  A mistake, I hadn’t checked myself in the mirror before attending.  A vulnerability, I’m not as I’m trying to present myself to be.  Or worse, it was an incompetence that I might not have overcome in their eyes.  But, thankfully it was my colleague, whom I trust to have my best interest at heart. 

For me, trust is one of the keys to receiving the feedback in the best possible way (to change my behavior or fix a mistake).  I think for most people this is true.  Really feeling that the person cares about you.  That he/she is not trying to “catch you” or “one up you,” but has good intentions and really wants to help you succeed.