Yesterday, I saw B.F. Skinner’s Reinforcement Theory in action. I was sitting in our agile team room with about half of our team members. One person commented on another’s good posture. The complimentee smiled and said, “Thanks for noticing. I’ve been working on it.” The interaction was very nice and I observed its positive effect on both the giver and the receiver of the feedback.

What was just as encouraging was what happened in the rest of the room. I saw three other people adjust their posture and I too sat up straighter. That comment, however brief, had a positive effect on the entire room even though the compliment was only given to one person.

There is tons of academic research on the great benefits of positive reinforcement, but I had never read much about its effect on bystanders. So, I spent some time on Google. It was certainly not an exhaustive search but a cool article popped up from psychcentral.com. “The new study found rewards were strongly associated with compliance and cooperation. As such, this approach could help in developing solutions for problems requiring the cooperation of large numbers of people to achieve a greater good.” I think this has huge implications for how we interact with each other. So, I encourage you to sit up straight and point out something one of your colleagues is doing well and see if it benefits you’re entire team. 

I was riding in the car with other day with a colleague of mine after we had just enjoyed a very productive lunch.  He turned to me and said, “Libby, you have a bit of food in your teeth.”  And, sure enough when I pulled down the mirror, I had a piece of lettuce stuck in an unattractive spot.  After lunch I had a meeting with clients, so I really appreciated him saying something.  As we laughed about it, I thought about the fact that many people, even some of my friends, would not have told me.

That evening as I was driving in the car I thought about the stuck salad.  What made that important conversation work?  It was timely feedback, certainly. But why wasn’t I embarrassed?  If the client had told me, I would have been mortified.  A mistake, I hadn’t checked myself in the mirror before attending.  A vulnerability, I’m not as I’m trying to present myself to be.  Or worse, it was an incompetence that I might not have overcome in their eyes.  But, thankfully it was my colleague, whom I trust to have my best interest at heart. 

For me, trust is one of the keys to receiving the feedback in the best possible way (to change my behavior or fix a mistake).  I think for most people this is true.  Really feeling that the person cares about you.  That he/she is not trying to “catch you” or “one up you,” but has good intentions and really wants to help you succeed.