That evening as I was driving in the car I thought about the stuck salad. What made that important conversation work? It was timely feedback, certainly. But why wasn’t I embarrassed? If the client had told me, I would have been mortified. A mistake, I hadn’t checked myself in the mirror before attending. A vulnerability, I’m not as I’m trying to present myself to be. Or worse, it was an incompetence that I might not have overcome in their eyes. But, thankfully it was my colleague, whom I trust to have my best interest at heart.
For me, trust is one of the keys to receiving the feedback in the best possible way (to change my behavior or fix a mistake). I think for most people this is true. Really feeling that the person cares about you. That he/she is not trying to “catch you” or “one up you,” but has good intentions and really wants to help you succeed.